Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Life Update September 29,2015

Learning the spiritual art of patients is this weeks trial. Waiting on information from another person on the possibility of a job transfer is my constant thought. Every hour I hear the devil telling me to get involved. "Text this person, call them, take charge God is not helping you!" You are  the master of your destiny. I'm doing my best not to listen.

Writing about all the mountains moved since we made the decision (was it really mine to begin with) could fill a book.  Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, Plans to prosper you, plans not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. These events are evidence of His truth. I need to be still, pray, and wait on the Lord.

He could not have brought me this far to pull the rug out from under my feet. Or could he? One way or another I will find out. If by chance, He has different plans for my life then I do. May I be man enough to Trust, Believe, and Honor his decision.

Come on phone RING!

 Just kidding. I wait.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Double Minded Man

 Tonight I'm heading to bed with worry and anxiety once again upon my shoulders. I'm trying for a new job in a new city. The whole process has been one giant leap of faith. I can be honest and say I've put the cart before the horse. Since this whole journey began late in July I've felt deeply that the Lord is going to work everything out.

So far all his words to me have come to pass. I know that the only one who can complete this transfer for my family is Him. I feel a sense of guilt (and I know who grants that great gift) that I can't seem to trust him 100%. That I have to do everything I can to get His job done. I don't want the glory, I just want the job before His timing. 

So where does this leave me tonight. I was so anxious that I had to pull out the Word. I started with a ultra fast prayer for an answer. I'm not even sure it was a prayer, but it to took all of two seconds for him to answer me.

In His perfect timing I was reading day 4 passage application from the Fresh Start Devotional from Gateway Church. Page 26. I quote "I have seen many people with dreams of their future, but instead of allowing God to steer them, they try to fulfill those dreams without his help. Then, after years of working and straining, they fall short or their dreams are forgotten."

That's me. Trying to get involved in His deal. Even though the signs He's shown me are beyond coincidence. He has spoken to me, and yet. 

James 1: 6-8 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. 

So here I am. Living out this verse, and looking for comfort. Then I looked below at the notes in the Spirit Filled Life Bible page 1895 and read.

1:8 "A Doubled Minded Man is a person drawn in two opposite directions. His allegiance is divided and because of his lack of sincerity he vacillates between belief and disbelief, sometimes thinking God will help him and at other times giving up all hope in him. Such a person is "unstable in all his ways," not only in his prayer life. The lack of consistency in his exercise of faith betrays his general character."

So now I'm more confused. I thought I was on the right path. I have the Word in my heart. But this has discouraged me. The Double Minded Man is not who I want to be. 

I shall pray for guidance tonight. 

Dear Lord I know that in the big picture of life this job transfer is not earth shattering. I know you have better things to look in on. My daughters health is really the only gift I need from you. But if your will is to move us for greater things for you then please send me a strong word. If by chance what I'm doing is only for this world then please stop this whole deal and place trust and peace upon my mind and family. Dear Lord you have lead the way so far. Please don't let me screw things up. In your name I pray.


Sunday, March 22, 2015

Week in review

 This week was filled with many blessing, a few tears and some breakthroughs. 

While reading the Bible this week I realized at my level I needed a different version with notes that were a little more informative then the detailed notes Bible I have now.  I found the Holmon NKJV study Bible was just right.

I ordered from Christianbooks.com and am waiting patiently for my delivery. Great service and the prices can't be beat.

A wonderful coworker blessed me with a new book The Blessed Life by Robert Morris.

I have to admit I am really struggling with this one. It is about the gift of Tithing. My mind is in a tizzy.  I want to obey, but I am afraid and still a selfish man. My wife and I are praying for guidance.

UPDATE: 9/18/2015  We have been following this calling and it has changed our lives. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Another Day, Another Struggle

Last night on the way home I listened to another Podcast of Joyce Meyers. Can't remember the topic, but she was just what I needed to hear. I told my wife that I once again felt that I've been touched with an answer. A push to take care of a certain issue I've been fighting with. Today I listened to Pastor John McDonald's Podcast as he spoke on the feeling of discouragement. Great topic, and again just what I needed to hear.

As I was walking into work listening in, John continued his talk. He turn the subject to his  dad. At that moment I started to think of my dad who has since passed and how hard it was for him raising a family of six. I don't remember him ever acting discouraged. Just as I started to talk to him in my mind. I glanced down to find another penny.  My dad would never bypass a coin on the ground. I just felt once again it was a small sign from above. That what I am hearing in the two Podcasts are not only answers but encouragement from above. I know He can, and will use anyone He chooses to advance His glory and kingdom. To say the least it scares me to think he might use me too.  I looked up "discouragement" in the Concordance and turned to 1 CH 22: 13. David talking to his son Solomon "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged." If Solomon could find peace in those words with the giant task of building a temple in his future; I think I should take them to heart too.

All I have to do is pay some bills (discouragement.)

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

This is a first. A Bible study

While reading this morning from my newest book The Old Testament for New Students ©1956. I started with chapter sixteen titled Songs from the Heart; A study of the Book of Psalms. One of the Psalm written about was Psalm 23. After reading it a few times, I realized I had very little understanding as to what the message was. Today for the first time I decided to attempt a passage study. Using my Logos Bible software Mobil App. I took notes, verse by verse from Matthew Henry's Commentary of the Whole Bible.  I'm very happy that I took time out to do some research and gained a deeper understanding of the Word.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Love old Bible books

I call myself a book geek. I just can't seem to buy enough of them. I'm very happy to spend hours sitting in old book stores. I love to read books about the bible, especially the older they are. There something not only magical, but a bit more spiritual in the contents. With age comes wisdom they say.  I can only imagine meeting the author from long ago and seeing them smile to know someone is reading their works. I came across my latest gem at a resale book store yesterday. Titled The Old Testament for New Students by Cecil  F Cheverton, ©1956. Pages yellowed by time, notes written in sidebar by a Mr. Lutz from Fort Worth, TX just adds to the grandeur of my find. Already on chapter 5 and learning new things. Mr Lutz took good notes.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Time to start writing again

Can't remember the last I posted. I know it's been way to long. Between then and today I've had many wonderful blessings and trials to bear. Today I picked up the book, A Prayer Journal by Flannery O'Conner. Just a few pages in I was inspired to start posting again. 

Her writings of her prayers gave me some deeper thoughts that maybe that's what I should do too. 

I need to make it known that I am not a successful product of public schools. My skills at writing are very poor. All prior post were edited by my wife who is very gifted in the skills of the pen. I think I'll just post with out her reviews so that I won't end up writing for her, but to stay true to my thoughts as jumbled as they might seem to come across. 

I think it would be helpful to make note of my prayers and the answers that I find.   

UPDATE: During my dinner break at work I went out for a mile walkabout for some fresh air. I plugged in my headphones and listened to a talk by Joyce Meyers on self pity. A small problem I've lived with all my life. I asked as I walked about "if you are with me show me a coin." It was not a test of his presence, just a friendly comment. As I reached the mile marker on my GPS I found myself glancing down on this. I was so shocked I captured his answer. Funny man. 

Friday, May 30, 2014

Gone to long

It has been a long time since I brought up this blog to write. I will work on finding time to work on it.

Jesus Rejected at Nazareth
Jesus left that part of the country and returned with his disciples to Nazareth, his hometown. The next Sabbath he began teaching in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. They asked, “Where did he get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles?” Then they scoffed, “He’s just a carpenter, the son of Mary* and the brother of James, Joseph,* Judas, and Simon. And his sisters live right here among us.” They were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. 

Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” And because of their unbelief, he couldn’t do any miracles among them except to place his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their unbelief. 

"Unbelief." I'm not sure if he was to come back and walk right down the middle of 5th Ave anyone would pay attention. Just saying, we could sure use a sign today.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

He speaks just when you need to hear

This morning I was reading my Daily Bible I came across Mark4:40.
40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

As soon as I read that I felt a bolt of electricity flow though me. It is the answer to my fears. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers, and providing me an answer to all the worries.

There are times that He just hits you in the face and says "Open your eyes, I am the answer for everything!"

May God bless everyone who visits this page.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Happy New Year 2014

Happy New Year to everyone.

It has been awhile since my last post. We spent the Christmas holiday on vacation cruising the Bahamas on the Dream from Disney Cruise Lines. What a wonderful week on board this beautiful ship. Two days on their private, sun drenched island is just not enough. Disney is truly the way to sail the Seven Seas with children.

 Today I picked up my reading of the book of Genesis chapter 6 verses 5-6. 5: The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. 6: So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. (NLT)

 What made me stop to think deeply about this verse was the last line: "It broke his heart." Rather than passing over that line quickly, I followed up with a verse study from Matthew Henry's Commentary in which he states: "Here is, I. God's resentment of man's wickedness. He did not see it as an unconcerned spectator, but as one injured and affronted by it. He saw it as a tender father sees the folly and stubbornness of a rebellious and disobedient child, which not only angers him, but grieves him."

 Taken together, "It broke his heart" and "but grieves him" hit me right in my own heart. It made me think about my own children. That not only am I their parent, but I'm still a child to and of God. For the first time, I see that He looks at me the same way I look at them. He sees both the beauty and disappointments in me that I see in them and sometimes feel in their actions. His heart wants what my heart wants. He wants his children (me) to be as righteous and obedient as I want my own.

 So where does this leave me tonight? First, it leaves me with a sense of sorrow for some of the ways I've lived and the disappointments I've brought to Him. Second, it gives me a new perspective on how I need to move forward in His heart. I know the past cannot be changed, but in all that I do henceforth, it must be done without causing disappointment in His eyes.

 I have always been proud to be my father's son. He was everything I wanted to be when I grew up. He was the kindest man I've ever known. There was never any doubt that on the day I married he would be my best man. He left this world three years ago. Today I wear his wedding ring upon my finger. I look at it and know all that he made it stand for. What I have to be, to be worthy of wearing his life. If I can live my life right, that day will come when my son looks at me the way I looked at his grandfather. And I will not only be a joyous man, but I will know that I have made both my father and God neither angry nor grievous.

 This is going to be hard work.